Skin Puppets

I was going to bed last night and I realized I should go get some goodnight hugs. So I went, and I got some, and they were awesome. Which brings me to part of this posts topic. Hugs.

Hugs are wonderful, truly god’s gift to earth. If you are feeling bad and  you hug someone,  you’re instantly a little bit better! I don’t know why doctors haven’t prescribed hugs yet for depression, anxiety, panic and so forth.

Before a hug:
 

After a hug:

It’s a cure all, like soup. In fact, I bet the cure to cancer has been under our noses the whole time. Who needs chemo when I’ve got hugs!

Don’t actually replace chemo with hugs though. That’s probably a bad idea.

Enough about hugs and on to the good stuff.

What I dislike. A lot.

Stretching.

There has never been something as dissatisfying as stretching. You start off a stretch feeling like this is what you really need. I feel tense so I’m going to stretch! I’ll feel relieved, and better for it! So you start off. Stretching all good.

You feel like things are going well. You get that little shiver of feel good, you can hear it in your ears, like a whisper from the divine hug gods. Encouraging you, “keep going, keep going” and you do. Because damn it! This stretch will be the best friggen stretch I’ve ever had.

But then things start to get weird, you’re starting to relax from that god gifted stretch and something doesn’t feel right. You don’t feel as good as you should after a good stretch. Instead, your muscles feel like they’ve been turned to bologna, or some other low quality luncheon meat. Your bones have turned to noodles.

This isn’t right. Just a second ago the gods had gifted you with this magnificent stretch. Now you’re a lump of bologna and noodles. And that isn’t appealing to the body in any sense. For some reason, you also end up tired. Why are you tired? It wasn’t even like that was much of an exercise. I may be out of shape, but a stretch shouldn’t have this much of an effect on my body. I can go up the stairs and feel less exhausted then when I stretch. You’re confused at this point. Wondering why you even began to stretch at all, because you knew this was coming. It happens every time you stretch. Why would this be any different?

Our bodies are tricking us, making us tired for no reason. I’ve discovered that our bodies are against us, making us tired so our bodies can take over our minds. Soon the whole world will be stretching and walking up stairs until we’re mindless skin puppets listening not to our minds but our bodies. What will our bodies want to accomplish? I don’t know. I don’t listen to it.

Trust no one. Especially yourself.