The Worst Bed Ever

Aaaah it was move in day. Second year of university. A new room with a new private bathroom. Hardly any people on my floor, things are looking up! I was excited for my new room, all the possibilities.  Little did I know I was about to meet the worst mattress in North America. The bed is covered in a hard, plastic, yellow cover of some sort. "Okay...." I think to myself, "maybe it feels better than it looks...?" I mean, don't judge a book by its cover , right? I sat on it. And you know what? I should of judged the shit out of that book.

How can I explain it?   You know how when you hop on your bed and it springs back up and you bounce ? Mine doesn't do that. I sat on it and it stayed still. I wasn't prepared and I slammed my ass onto this strange hard "mattress". The feeling of it is indescribable. It's like somebody took a big plastic case and stuffed it with lumps of felt? Maybe? I can't imagine felt would be comfy to sleep on. Let me tell you, this bed sure as hell isn't. It has no spring, no bounce, there's no give. It's just flat and kind of sinking.

 Have I also mentioned this residence used to be a retirement centre? That adds to the thrill of this bed. The potential of an old person possibly dieing on it. Honestly, I wouldn't even doubt it. There is no way an elderly person is getting out of this bed easily. It is incredibly difficult to move in. For the first few weeks of sleeping on it, I would have to wake up if I wanted to roll over. It is just the most unforgiving bed I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.

It doesn't even have a box spring, it just sits on a wooden panel. One time I sat on it and I swear it sounded like it broke. I was kind of excited to be honest. A broken bed means a new one!  One more thing I should mention, every single one of my friends beds is different. I am suffering in not so much silence.